Surviving
by Samandjackforever
Summary: Due to blood transplant, Jack gets AIDS. i'm rating this as a teen because i think most people can handle this kind of stuff but, i'm just warning you now this has to do with AIDS, i will try to update fast.
1. I have what?

Chapter 1- I have what?

Jack felt groggy all morning, dizzy, sick, either one you pick he felt. The drive to the SGC was hectic; he was praying he'd stay on the road, he felt so dizzy. The moment he got at the SGC, he stepped out of his car and threw up on the ground before him, he struggled with walking forward until, his body shut down on him and he fell forward out cold. He awoke in the infirmary with Janet standing at his bed side taking notes. "Doc? What happened?" Jack asked. Janet just looked at him, sighed and said, "To tell you the truth I really don't know, I'm still waiting for your test results to come back, then…." Janet's voice trailed off as an air man handed her a folder presumably the test results. Janet opened the folder swiftly, then a few seconds after reading it her hands started to shake, and tears nearly formed in her eyes but she blinked the back.

"Well?" Jack asked impatiently. Janet looked at him then back at the folder. "Jack remember when you got that blood transplant a week ago?" Janet asked; Jack nodded. "Yeah, I remember, why do you ask?" Jack asked. "Jack I'm sorry to tell you this, at fact I feel it's my fault I should have had the blood screen done twice and…." Janet's sentence was cut sort by Jack. "Doc get to the point." Jack stated very impatiently. "jack, you have AIDS." Janet said as calmly as possible, Jack just looked at her, disbelieving , then he asked. "Janet, am I going to die?" Jack asked seriously. "Well, if you start taking AZT now there's a good chance you won't, or at least not for a long time." Janet said as she handed jack two pills of AZT and some water. "Thanks." Jack said as he accepted both. "Maybe you stood tell the team." Janet said eyes tearful. Jack nodded, got up and left. 'The team,' Jack thought, 'how am I going to tell them.'

Next chapter- telling the team.

Maybe update in a week


	2. Telling the team

Chapter 2- Telling the team.

Jack left the infirmary and headed to the gate room so he can intercom the team to the briefing room. When he got to the entrance to the gate room he stopped, reality hit him…hard. Jacks' mind was racing with so many questions but, he pushed them aside. His main concern is telling the team. He called them all to the briefing room, and then went there himself. "Hello sir." Sam said with the smile she always saved just for him. "Hey carter." Jack said plainly. Everyone entered, and it was silent until jack began to speak.

"I know your all wondering why I pulled you from your extremely busy schedules but, this is important," Jack began his voice soft and low, nervous and scared and everyone could tell. "I'll make this quick, I have AIDS. " Jack said simply he looked down to the table; he knew all eyes were on him. "I just thought I should tell you all because, you people are my good friends and the closest thing I have to a family, that's all I want to say, soyou guys can go back to your own business." Jack said, then he looked up at everyone, Sam had tears in her eyes, Daniel's eyes were misting over as he continued to stare at his hands, Cameron had a hand over his mouth shocked and even Teal'c had a hint of tears in his eyes (A/N-teal'c knows what AIDS is).

Tears started to form in Jack's eyes as he said, "I have to go," jack said quickly as he got up and was about to leave, but sam stopped him. "Excuse me carter," jack said as the tears in his eyes fell freely. Sam didn't say any thing she just hugged him silently sobbing on his shoulder. "Ah, Sam don't, It's OK." Jack tried to reassure her. She just pulled away from his grasp and looked in his eyes. "I know you do believe me, but please try." Jack said then daniel spoke up. "We are worried for you jack, and if you need any help with any thing, your uh…brother (A/N- Daniel is calling himself jack's brother) is here always." Daniel finished proudly. "You were always there for us, now it's our turn." Sam said tears still falling. "Thanks guys." Jack said as he brushed the tears away. He is glad to have friends like them.

Next Chapter- Chapter 3- small steps

A/N- the chapters to follow are- C4-Giving up , C5-wish, C6- With family like this, C7- Christmas, C8- Trying to live,C9- Seasons of love,C10- white light, not yet, C11- still here. It should go something like that. I forgot to put this in the first chapter-

**This story is in honor of all of the people who live with AIDS today and in honor of the people we have lost due to AIDS.**

Remember this quote from the musical RENT- "No day but today."


	3. Small steps

Chapter 3- Small steps

_A week later-_

Jack hated the thought of being baby sat but, all of his friends insisted on it. It was during sam's round that Jack's illness started to kick in because the AZT wore off. Sam was sitting in the living room watching TV, meanwhile Jack was resting. Sam heard a loud crash coming form Jack's room, almost as a reflex Sam jolted up and ran to jack's room to find him throwing up on the floor. "Jack!" sam said as she ran over to him. "The AZT wore off didn't it?" She asked as she finished throwing up on the floor. Jack nodded his head. "Janet said I can't give you anymore until another AZT break, I'm sorry." Sam said, jack nodded again and then spoke, "It's not your fault so don't say you're sorry." Was all he said to her before saying, "Sam, I want to go outside today." Jack said and sam looked amazed. "Are you sure, I mean two days ago you said you never wanted to go outside, never wanted people to see you, because you said that you didn't want people to see you pale." Sam said, and then jack just said, "I want to take small steps to recovery, small steps."


	4. Giving up

Chapter 4- Giving up

_5 months later-_

Jack stood on the roof of his house, on the edge of

the roof of his house actually. "Jack don't do this!" daniel called from the ground. Jack moved farther on the edge. "Jack please, come down, let's take care of this, I'll make the president get rid of the bet and then I'll personally kick his ass for starting it!" Daniel shouted more desperately. "You may be able to make the president get rid of the bet and kick his ass which I would pay to see, I won't forget it." Jack shouted from the roof, then I a president impression jack said, "place your bets WHEN WILL O'NEILL CROAK!" jack shouted as tears sprung from his eyes. "When will AIDS kill him!" daniel added. "jack looked down shocked. "Dammit Jack! I am soo sick of hearing this shit! Jack deal with it! You should be having fun, do the things you always wanted to do! LIVE LIKE YOUR DYING! Just like the song, now come on down and we'll go to the bar!" Jack just looked at him shocked, then he looked down at his watch. 'Daniel it's one in the morning!" Jack shouted as he made his way down the ladder. "So, we still have time for fun!" daniel said as jack stepped off the ladder. "that a boy," daniel said as he ushered jack to his car, "Come on, let's go! But remember…" daniel said as he stopped a moment. "you'll get threw this, never give up."

A/N- I know this chap is short but oh well!


	5. Wish

Chapter 5- wish

_(This chap is based 3 months after my last chap)_

Jack sat curled up on the couch watching TV, well not really watching TV but, the TV was on. His mind would wonder. His eyes wondered over to the coffee table set in the middle of his living room. There on the table was his RENT soundtrack. He saw the movie a few days ago with Sam, Daniel, Janet, Cassie and Teal'c. He just fell in love with the songs and story but, one thing disturbed him a bit. The song "Will I?" Then he turned off the TV, pausing before picking up the soundtrack. He turned on the stereo and popped it in.

He just sat there listening to the words. He had it blasting. Thank god no one was watching him! Daniel for sure would have a headache by now, Teal'c still wouldn't understand what the whole thing meant, and sam would be working and jack wouldn't have put it on in the first place, he wouldn't want to disturb her from her work. The first CD of RENT had gotten to the song he dreaded, he liked the song but, it scared him about the future and what would happen. Jack sat down on the couch, and accidentally sat on the remote for the stereo and that caused the song to go on repeat.

So jack listened to the song over and over again, before breaking down and crying. The song just kept playing until Jack turned it off. "It's time to take action." Jack said to himself as he turned on his computer in search of a Life Support group, lucky for him he found one. "Open for anyone, to discuss life, Where- Colorado Springs park (If nice out) When- Every week at 6:00 PM except on Weekends." Jack read out loud, then looked at the clock. "Well I guess I'll see what it's like." Jack said, then he got his jacket and left to go to the meeting.

_At the meeting-_

"Hello everyone, and welcome, How about we go around and learn everyones name, I am Kelly Joshington." Kelly introduced herself. "I'm Albert Decofa." The next person said. (A/N- People you should get the picture by now, everyone's telling everyone else their names and they are going in order so the guy that just said his name was and the right side of Kelly OK?") "The name's John kef." The next man said "Willard Joseph." Said the man next to John. "Charity Colle." Said the women next to Willard. "Dina Marsh." Said the women next to Charity. "Hi, I'm Jack O'Neill." Jack said his voice shaky. "Ok let's begin." Kelly said.

"Let's start this meeting by, making wishes, everyone take a piece of paper and write down your wish, you can share if you want but, you don't have to." Kelly said everyone took a piece of paper, and moments later, "who would like to share?"

Jack raised his hand. "Yes, Mr. O'Neill." Jack stood up. "You can just call me Jack, uh, my wish is um," Jack cleared his throat. "My wish is to live, to see all that I want to see, to make confessions about things that most people forgot about, to get in touch with my parents, to be able to do anything I want. I ain't ready to die yet, not yet and you can bet I'm gonna hang on and live this life to its fullest extent." Jack finished with tears in his eyes. He looked around; he saw a lot of people nodding their heads in agreement. "Thank you jack." Kelly said, jack sat down and thought, 'I ain't giving up, I am gonna live this life out.'

**_Next Chapter- With family like this _**


	6. With family like this

Chapter 6- with family like this

Disclaimer- I don't own the songs- Life Support or the song Will I they belong to Jonathan Larson, God rest his soul.

_(10 days after my last chap)_

Everyone was sitting in Jacks' living room. Everyone as in Sam, Daniel, Cassie (whom jack hadn't seen since the movie) Janet, Teal'c and Cameron. They were all wondering why he called them all over. They soon got their answer. Jack walked in the room with a lot of people following him. "Hey guys, listen I want to tell you something, a few days ago I went to my first Life Support meeting, I want you to meet the other people that come to the meetings." Jack said addressing the people behind him.

"Uh, Hi, I'm Kelly Joshington, and I have to say, this is the first time that we have ever been invited to have meeting at one of our members' houses but, thank you jack." Kelly started. "No problem, after all today the weather sucks!" Jack exclaimed. "Uh guys introduce yourselves to Jacks family members." Kelly said. Willard being fearless stepped up first. "Hello, my name's Willard Joseph, it's nice to finally be able to meet you all, Jack says nothing but nice things about you all." Willard said.

The next person to step up was Albert. "Hey I'm Albert Decofa but, can call me Al." After that everyone introduced themselves from the Life Support meeting. Kelly spoke again, "Jack has been to all of our meetings, if any of you were wondering." Jack nodded him head in satisfaction. "Guys, this is my family, this is Sam, Daniel, Janet and her daughter Cassie, Teal'c, and This is Cameron." Jack said pointing to each as he said their names. "Well, Let's begin, if your family would like to join in they can, this is a meeting for everyone you know." Kelly said as she started moving jacks' furniture around so there was a clear space in the middle of Jack's Living room. Jack knew this would be trouble, they where going to sing.

The L.S. (Life support) members formed a circle. Jack was facing the couch were his family was set up; they all were reading the words to the song, that means they were all going to join in. After a few seconds everyone got up from the couch and joined the group, everyone in the circle took each others hands. The circle went in this order, (moving clock wise from Jack) Jack, Willard, Cassie, John, Daniel, Dina, Sam, Albert, Janet, Charity, Teal'c, Kelly, and Cameron.

"Everyone ready?" Kelly asked. Everyone nodded. They began to sing, "There's only us, there's only this, Forget regret or life is yours to miss, no other road no other way no day but today, there's only now there's only here give in to love, or live in fear no other path no other way, no day but to day, no day but today, no day but today." The song finished they let go of each others hands and sat down on the floor.

The weird thing about this kind of meeting, ya know the ones that are held inside you have to sing every comment you want to make. "Excuse me, I just want to say I regret that my T- cell count is low," came from Willard. "Ok But, Willard, how do ya feel today?" Kelly responded. "Ok, but still it scared me a bit." Willard said, the meeting was very nice. Before everyone left, Kelly pulled jack aside. "Jack thank you soo much, and thank your family for participating, they are very supportive." Kelly said. "Well, with family like this! They understand." Jack said. Everyone left, and jack had a empty house with a grin on his face he said, "I'm really gonna get by fine with family like this!"

**Next Chapter- Chapter 7- Christmas**


	7. Christmas

Chapter 7- Christmas

(Set on Christmas Eve)

Jack cursed at himself as the Merry Christmas sign he just put up started to droop.

"It needs more tape," a voice said from behind him. "Danny! I didn't even hear you come in." Jack said sarcastically. "I know, you weren't answering your door, so I let myself in." Daniel said.

"Well, now that you're here maybe you can help me with these damn decorations!" Jack exclaimed pointing to the decorations piled on the floor. Daniel smiled, he hadn't seen jack this happy in a long time.

"Sure, uh jack where do you want the nativity set?" Daniel asked. "Uh, on that ledge on top of the fire place, make it look nice, even though one of the wise mans arm's missing." Jack said with a chuckle.

"The holidays really do bring out the classic O'Neill charm, don't they?" Daniel asked with a sigh. "Yep!" Jack exclaimed.

After a few minutes jack's living room was decorated in the best Christmas style. Daniel and Jack looked a round and both sighed at the same time in contentment.

Then there was a knock on the door, it was probably Carter and Teal'c. Janet said she would be a little late. Jack opened the door and was greeted with a hug and handshake.

"Merry Christmas si…..Jack." Sam corrected herself. "Happy holidays O'Neill." Teal'c said with a smile. "Teal'c, lose the O'Neill, just call me jack for once!" Jack exclaimed, Teal'c nodded, "Ok Jack." Teal'c said happily.

"Come on in!" Jack finally said and Teal'c and Sam stepped in. "Daniel, remember when we went shopping for Christmas gifts and did the wrapping all in one day, well you left all the gifts at my house I also have the ones from janet and Teal'c. So you know what? You can venture into the cold with me to get them all out of my car!" Sam exclaimed as she walked over to Daniel and grabbed him by his ear and pulled him out the door.

"Jack, you did a very good job in the decorations." Teal'c said as he removed his jacket. "I didn't do it alone, Danny helped me, he came early." Jack said as took the Teal'cs jacket and put it in the closet.

Moments later Daniel and sam returned with their arms filled with gifts. "Whoa! Talk about 'looks like people are gonna have huge ass credit bills to pay'!" Jack said as sam and Daniel placed the gifts on the floor around the tree.

"let me take your coats." Jack said as sam handed him hers, daniel had already put his away. They all sat in the living room talking. Then, there was a light knocking on the door.

"Must be Janet!" Daniel exclaimed happily, almost a little too happily, "I'll get it Jack, don't you worry I'll get that door for ya, you bet!" Daniel exclaimed as he rushed over to the door, he opened the door in one swift move and there out in the cold stood Janet.

"Merry Christmas sweetheart," Daniel said as he took Janet in his arms and kissed her on the lips lightly. "Merry Christmas to you too!" Janet said as she kissed him back.

"Shouldn't keep the party waiting." Daniel said as he lead janet, his girlfriend for the past 2 years, into the living room. "Janet! Where ya been?" Jack asked as soon as Janet stepped into the room. "I had to do last minute shopping!" Janet said with a laugh.

"So what and when are we eating?" Daniel asked, it was always a surprise every year, they never knew what they would be eating! Last year was a Christmas Chinese food feast. Not once did they ever have turkey. "We are having turkey for once!" jack exclaimed and everyones jaws dropped, "Jack, you cooked?" Sam asked in surprise, "hell no! I begged my mom to do the cooking! All we got to do is heat it up!" Jack said with a huge grin.

Then, he showed every one to their seats at the table, which was nicely decorated. They ate and talked until daniel demanded for coffee. "Ok, danny, I'll get the coffee, just shut up!" Jack said to daniel playfully, as jack got up a beeper went off. "oh, that's me! Sorry! I'll be right back!" Jack said as he rushed out of the room.

"AZT?" Daniel asked as he looked at the clock then at janet who nodded in response.

Moments later jack returned and then another beeper went off, "That's me again, I'm sorry, it's time for my monthly T- cell check, they have a new machine that tells you right away! Ain't it cool?" Jack asked trying to sound happy but failing.

Jack went and got his little machine of more or less AZT breaks. Jack put his finger in the whole and the machine poked it with a needle and then took blood. Moments later the machine beeped and a number appeared on the screen, a pretty low number.

"Is that good or bad?" Daniel asked and jack gave him a sad look, "Not good, no it's bad. That's the lowest I've been! Last month it was sky high!" Jack said frustrated, but then the look of worry started to fade, "I'm SO not going to worry about this on Christmas! Hell no!" Jack said as he looked to the presents, but first got up and went in the kitchen.

He soon returned with coffee for every one, "If I didn't get it Danny wouldn't shut up!" Jack said with a chuckle as he gave everyone their coffee. "PRESENTS!" Jack shouted like a 5 year old, everyone laughed as one of the presents with holes in the top of the box started to bark. "Jack that's for you." Janet said as she pointed to it, "You can guess what it is!" Janet said as jack opened the gift and out came a cute little puppy.

"AWWW! Janet it's so cute!" Sam exclaimed as she went over to the puppy that was now attacking Jacks face with kisses, "Whoa down boy, you are a boy right?" Jack asked the puppy while 'checking' for the gender, "Yes, it's a boy!" janet said as she giggled.

The rest of the night was filled with laughing and celebrating.

_Later that night-_

"Thanks for coming!" Jack said as he waved good bye to his departing friends. "Well that was fun, right Bud?" Jack asked his puppy that was chasing his tail. "Your full of surprises aren't you?" Jack asked the puppy and receiving a bark as an answer. Jack shook his head and started toward his bed room.

Suddenly, Jack ran in the kitchen, "Shit! SHIT!" Jack exclaimed as he went in his medicine cabinet and got his AZT pill bottle, "I can't believe I forgot to take one all night! DAMN!" jack said as he put two pills in his mouth and swallowed them.

Then jack went to bed only to dream of how life is and how it is going to get.

End until next chap.

Next chap- **_Chapter 8- Trying to Live_**


End file.
